The Tipping Point

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the moment when you realize you’re high. What is it that makes you realize this is it? Is it a specific chemical change? Is it a certain neurotransmitter? What is the change between moment a and moment b where you just realize you’re no longer sober?

As I’ve been on this journey, I’ve come to love the moment I can feel the THC start entering my brain. I’m aware of the physical structure of my brain so much more when I feel it enter my system. I can feel the fireworks and explosions of lightning that burst and flash through my skull. It’s an amazing experience.

I know that everything I feel when I’m high is “all in my brain” but that’s true of literally everything. Reality is just a hallucination within the squishy, watery meat inside my skull anyway, so who’s to say the other types of feelings and experiences I have from THC is any less meaningful?

THC has made me more introspective. I’ve thought a lot more about myself, my body, my mind, and reality overall. It makes me look at things differently. I think about my place in the world differently. I find myself less bothered by the small things because I really do realize just how small they truly are.

I feel like I have opened a door most people don’t even see, let alone walk through. I started this journey as a way to help with my chronic illness, chronic pain, and chronic inflammation from autoimmune diseases. But now, I feel like it’s also given me a new spiritual awareness as well. It’s a bonus and one I wasn’t expecting, but I’m certainly enjoying. I understand now why people use various psychoactive products in their religious and spiritual practice.

I’ve come to realize how we are both so much more than the sum total of our being and yet, we are also just a tiny part of a greater whole. We are each our own universe. All the life – the cells, the energy, the individual parts – cannot exist without the whole. It all comes together to form a complete being. And yet, each of us in our total universe is also a part of a larger song. We are just a single, unique note in an orchestra of harmony.

But I still can’t help but wonder what is the tipping point. What is that moment we cross over from the mundane to the mystical?